Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I'm both gender and math confused
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
