she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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