I've blown a few things in my day
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
