How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
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