according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
