just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
