the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
you inspire me to be a worse person
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
