They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
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