you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Randomize
