PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
