Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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