guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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