Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
a search helicopter?!
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
