I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Randomize
