Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize