we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
