Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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