Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
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