their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
There was a lot of him and a little penis
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Drunk is not a location!
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
