we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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