from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I supernannyed him into submission
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
