Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
She made me pour olive oil on her.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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