its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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