if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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