Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Sober January is a disaster.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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