I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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