your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
the condom got lost in my hair
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
