is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
