Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Randomize
