guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
no, he came in my armpit
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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