She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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