the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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