let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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