They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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