We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Randomize
