Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Randomize
