cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
