i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
