how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
