Walk of Shame. In a state park.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I just had sex on a roof
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
