He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
