I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Randomize
