yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
