yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
