I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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