paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
