Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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