Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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