Ambien. No doubt about it.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
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