I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize