I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
