he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize