what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
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