Fine. I'll sleep in my office
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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