It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
