Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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